Telf ([info]tzel) wrote,
@ 2005-05-24 11:28:00
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Current mood: thoughtful

Civility
Eventually I will get around to posting my thoughts on Ep III and the Star Wars phenomenon in general, but it's going to take me some time to get all those thoughts corralled on paper. In the meantime, I've got something else I'm chewing on.

Civility- n 1: formal or perfunctory politeness [ant: incivility] 2: the act of showing regard for others [syn: politeness]

I know other movements exist, but I'd like to start a Civility movement. This is not to say I'm going to give up swearing and swilling beer. This is to say I'm going to be respectful of others.

I'll try not to swear in front of children or adults that don't like swearing. I'll open doors for people. I'll give someone who is older or pregnant or has lots to carry or who just looks like they need it my seat on the subway. I'll respect other people's opinion and I will "use my words" when I disagree with someone. I really think this desperately needs to carry over to the internet.

A large chunk of people on the internet, especially the younger ones, see it as separated from the world, unreal. They don't see it as a community with real people so they see no need to be bothered with the feelings of others. I refuse to believe that all the twenty-somethings today were raised to be that callous or that they were never taught basic manners. I know for a fact that's not true.

Ok, granted I and most of the people I hang out with are pretty civil, but it wouldn't hurt to spread the word. I don't know how to make banners, but if someone could help me I'd like to start my movement by making a banner for people to post on their websites and blogs. Something like "Support Internet Civility" or "Intellect, Respect, Civility: On the internet and beyond". Is that silly?

I certainly subscribe to the slightly uncouth rogue thing (ok, I can be really uncouth, downright vulgar), but rogues can be civil, can't they? Is it just too uncool to act with diplomacy and grace? I dunno. Jedi are cool. Jedi are civil. Sith are evil and cool, and they're still civil. Mostly. Maybe I'm just a displaced Southern girl that should just accept the way things are.


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[info]madwriter
2005-05-24 04:30 pm UTC (link)
Rogues can be downright roguish in their civility. In fact many have mastered a Chaucerian civility, where they are being roguish and, indeed, often insulting to you, without you realizing they're being so until it's too late for you to engage in a witty retort.

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[info]tzel
2005-05-24 04:36 pm UTC (link)
And while insulting someone isn't what I'm aiming at, I find a witty cut preferable to "U r sux0r" or whatever it is they say.

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[info]cheetahmaster
2005-05-24 04:38 pm UTC (link)
especially the younger ones,

*cough*younglings*cough*

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[info]tzel
2005-05-24 04:40 pm UTC (link)
I *almost* typed that but caught myself.

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[info]rattrap
2005-05-24 05:00 pm UTC (link)
Presents for you over on my journal...

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[info]pictsy
2005-05-24 05:26 pm UTC (link)
I think that's a nice idea. I was wondering if I was just getting old, but lately I've been sad about the lack of charm and class in the behavior and taste of the general public. I've been trying to be more ladylike. :)

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My take on it (The lighter side of commentary)
[info]mighty_rontor
2005-05-24 05:31 pm UTC (link)
Rogues are civil in order to get under women's bustles. (Not a thing wrong with that!) Sith are civil because it's synergistic with their subterfuge. Jedi are civil because it gives them that warm fuzzy feeling that only the Force or a horny Wookie gives them. ("Chewie? Is that you?...")

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My OTHER take on it (not so light)
[info]mighty_rontor
2005-05-24 05:36 pm UTC (link)
Young folks, and I include most twenty-, thirty-, and some forty-somethings in this general opinion, have had more of their behavior influenced by pan-media sources than any other. There are few in the 20-40 group that have had a very positive and one-on-one relationships with those who were supposed to raise them. In lieu of parental supervision was/is note comparisons with just as inexperienced peers who formulate/d a consensus on how to act socially. Is this normal? Yes, but it used to be that there was a very strong and influential vetoing power by parents who generally knew how to gage their kid's abilities. As a result, we have at least two and a half generations of folks who are more self-reliant but not as socially adept. Thus, you have at present savvy yet rude people. What makes matters worse is that as these folks are burning bridges for their own self interests, they are becoming more and more lonely as they drive people away. If they're lucky, they can't figure out why until it dawns on them what they are actually doing and then try to change it; and if they aren't, they see the trap for what it is but don't see a way to stop the madness.

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Re: My OTHER take on it (not so light)
[info]tzel
2005-05-24 06:04 pm UTC (link)
I have to agree, which is why it's important to have this movement. The thing is, I don't want it to come off as some cheesy "it's cool not to smoke" campaign. All that ever does is make it look even cooler to smoke and cause me to have an awful nic fit. I don't want it to be "old farts" telling the young'uns how it used to be and I don't want it to be some sort of cult. What to do, what to do. Ideally it would somehow be genuinely cool to be civil. That sounds corny and pandering to the adolescent need to be "cool" but it's important that civility be viewed as a desirable trait, not just something dorks do.

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[info]uilos
2005-05-24 05:50 pm UTC (link)
Mind if I join in?

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[info]tzel
2005-05-24 05:55 pm UTC (link)
By all means. The more the merrier!

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[info]uilos
2005-05-25 12:44 am UTC (link)
Yay!

Now I just have to learn to be polite to the people I know. I find it far easier to be polite to strangers on the street than to people I interact with every day.

All silliness aside, I think this movement is a necessary thing. I see how to people around me act (especially to wait staff) and I want to speak stongly to them about how they should have some respect for the people around them doing them a service. Actually, I really want to yell at them to just shut the hell up and stop arguing, but I don't have the spine to make that kind of scene.

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[info]tzel
2005-05-25 12:55 am UTC (link)
I agree. It's hard to say something on someone's behalf and remain civil yourself. It's also difficult because if someone will yell at a waitress they will most certainly yell at you for asking them to stop yelling. That's why I want to get to people before the yelling starts.

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[info]uilos
2005-05-25 01:55 am UTC (link)
It's not as obvious as yelling at the waitress. It's things like loudly criticizing the food simply because it is something different from what they have had before (SWVa can be pretty close-minded on food) or arguing and pushing each other at the table or conversing loud enough that other patrons look at them. They think they're having fun. I think they're being rude, but I don't know how to get that across.

All one can do is sit quietly, speak softly, thank the wait staff as often as I can, and leave a larger than usual tip.

Maybe if more people would just speak softly and thank others...

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[info]misa1
2005-05-24 07:33 pm UTC (link)
I am totally for it, 100%. I would gladly post a banner.

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civility and swearing.
[info]unknownpoltroon
2005-05-25 01:10 am UTC (link)
I generally try to keep the more creative cussing to a dull roar around children who i might have to explain it to, the office, and random adults who ask me if i would mind not cussing in front of them, as it bothers them.
I have had people tell me "dont talk like that cause its wrong", or "becasue I shouldnt blapheme" they generally get an earfull or completely ignored.
I tend to be polite as hell in most ways, because ive had too many jobs where i would literlly get my ass kicked if i wasnt.

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